13 Feb My journey began as I sat with a hospice patient
My journey began as I sat with a hospice patient. In order to protect the identity of the patient, now a transitioned being, I will call her Susie. Susie was lucid with her thoughts when I first began my visitations. She was angry at first and as several individuals do, she too asked, ‘why me?’ Through several weeks, sitting under a tree whenever her health and weather permitted or by her breakfast table over peppermint tea, we chatted. She spoke. I mostly listened.
One day when I arrived, Susie was visibly upset. Before I could put my bag down and gather my breath, she said, “I am going to hell, am I not?” Delirium is not unusual for patients in hospice but she had not shown any signs of it until then. And just her demeanor told me it was something deeper than a side effect of medication.
Susie went on to tell me how she was an agnostic and how she had never felt at home with any religion. Every religion, she said, failed at something from her list of expectations. And since she had not “signed-up” to a religious faith, she did not know what was going to happen to her, after she took her last breath. Who will she meet? How will the journey look like? What will she look like? And as she articulated these questions, she grew more and more fearful. Susie led me to my first meta-question: Belonging?
My second question: Heretics? I met Sundari Ma (name changed to maintain confidentiality) during my PhD fieldwork. Sundari Ma, then a woman in her mid-forties who had spent more than three decades as a consort offering her services at a Hindu temple especially pertaining to esoteric rituals. While within the temple premises, she embodied a recognized and respected space; outside the temple she had no loci standing. In fact, she was seen as a fallen woman. Sundari Ma is not unique to any one religion or to a particular part of the world. For example, historic and present-day witch-hunts are not very different from Sundari Ma’s condition. Possibly, not so extreme are the tenets of “good” and “bad.” Individuals find themselves accountable and answerable if they are not viewed as outwardly religious. Being seen in a religious institution is closely linked to being pious, which seems to be directly linked to the person’s character and values. There are people who are deeply proud to be identified with a religious label, such as Hindu, Buddhist, Jain, Islam, Christianity, Sikh, and so forth. But what about the large group of either the “Nones” who do not subscribe to any one religion like Susie or who are “Blends,” part-Hindu, part-Buddhist, part-Christian, part-Sikh. The list is long and the combinations are infinite. So, where do we belong? And who are we? Is a label necessary?
So, who am I? I am a scholar-practitioner-seeker.
Scholar: I teach undergraduate courses at the Department of Philosophy and Religion at the University of North Carolina-Wilmington and at the University of Montana, Missoula. I also teach continuing education classes at Susanne M. Glasscock School of Continuing Studies, Rice University, The Women’s Institute of Houston, and The Houstonian. I have a doctorate in religious studies from Rice University and I received a master’s degrees in Buddhism.I specialize in Hindu Tantra: Religion, Gender, and Kundalini Yoga.
Practitioner: My practices are deeply influenced by my life and education. At fourteen, I started at a Sikh high school where we recited the gurbani(various compositions by different Sikh gurus) every day and learnt various forms of the Sikh marshal art called the gatka. At fifteen, I was initiated into the esoteric Hindu Tantra ritual where I learnt several techniques and sacred mantras to activate the yogic body (also referred as the subtle body). Masters in Buddhism gave me access to texts that helped me understand and strengthen my ritual practice. My PhD journey led me to “losing my religion” as I understood until that point. But in due course of time and deep soul searching, I define myself thus: I practice Vajrayana to be a better Hindu and serve my community like a Sikh.
Seeker: Lumen Tree Portal is a space for the Nones and the Blends. We are attempting to capture the zeitgeist of seekers.
We enliven collective spirituality in all by lighting each spiritual soul. We are building a community of those who believe spirituality & human goodness overpower constraints of religion and biases. We believe in conversations & teachings that lead us to be good, kind, spiritual, joyous human beings. Engage with us. We meet several times a month to discuss ways to enrich our personal lives – striving for greatness & happiness – and making an impact in the world at large.